So I arrived back in the UK on Sunday after being in the US since the middle of December.

Good flight, Virgin were excellent as usual.

Then I reached UK Border Control at Heathrow.

Now we've reclaimed our sovereignty there are 2 channels. Channel 1 is for UK passport holders and those from about 7 other countries. I picked out US, Australian and Swiss flags amongst others. Channel 2 is for everyone else.

Now despite there being a fraction of the number of passengers as they're - 1/5

would be normally, the queues were horrendous. UK channel funnels you along in a snaking conga to the ePassport gates.

Nice of them to put socially distanced dots on the floor so you can keep 6ft from the person in front. What about the lines of people coming in the opposite direction either side of you, separated by only a black fabric ribbon and a row of 3" metal posts? Social distance my arse!

Hundreds of us, jammed together, for nearly an hour! They want a new passenger - 2/5

locator form if you change seats on the plane, what about the details of these stranger who coughed all over you in immigration?

Finally get to the eGate. There about 15 of them and 5 are working!!

Alongside there are 35 manned desks dealing with Channel 2 people, very, very slowly. There are about 500 people waiting with the same front to back but no side to side distancing.

My gate takes 3 attempts to read my passport and let me though. Mrs Gomez's eventually beeps and turns - 3/5

red. Immigration office tells her to join a huge queue for manned gate 36 - the only one that can process eGate failures. Based on what I've come though I think I'm going to standing here waiting for the next 3 hours.

Mrs G is having none of it, and simply tells him he needs to let her try another machine. When he ignores her she simply does it anyway.

Another office on my side of the gate takes pretty and tells her to make sure that she pushes her passport firmly into the - 4/5

machine and presses it down hard. Success. We are through!

It's taken us so long that when we get to baggage reclaim all the suitcases have been removed from the belt and stood on the floor to make way for the next lot.

Oh and no one ever asked to see my passenger locator form QR code to prove I'd filled it in.

Welcome to . - 5/5

@oilyfish yes and just before the UK implements the requirement for a clear PCR test within 72hrs of travel. Which would have been practically impossible to get due to the sheer volume of tests they are trying to process in NYC.

@gomez Seems you've managed get through just in the nick of time again!

@gomez good grief mate, what a drag. glad you made it home safe, and managed to get in under the new rules, you seem to squirrel your way through various international lockdowns quite nicely 😃

I think your case in point (pun intended!) highlights clearly the fact that the notion of a ruling elite in control of everything is just fiction.
Maybe it's just lots of confused folks all trying to get on with their own lives in these chaotic times?
Answers on a postcard!

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