I have a new zine for sale!
It's a beginner-to-advanced guide to #pronouns for allies, with an informative and nerdy tone. 36 sides, A5, 100% recycled paper, handstitch-bound.
1 copy, UK second class, £5.85: https://py.pl/9YaUf
1 copy, outside UK, £7.20: https://py.pl/rpIaM
More copies: hello@gendercensus.com
@gendercensus Considering that your primary focus seems to be on enbys: Does this take into account that binary and non-binary trans people tend to want different things with regards to pronouns?:
@Fiona I'm not sure how it could, based on your poll results! What do you think? I mostly rely on my gaydar being really accurate, but that might not work for the target audience of the book! So since you've looked into it I'm curious to know what you would recommend.
@gendercensus As binary trans woman these may be a bit biased:
If someone wears a pronoun pin or similar use that.
Else if someone appears to very clearly fall into a binary gender, assume that.
Else if someone presents with a consistent set of gender markets, such as clothing, and only parts of their body that are hard to change disagree with that (such as the form of the face), there is a good chance the person is binary trans or non-binary in a way that closely aligns with the opposite of their AGAB and you should just follow the gender markers rather than the body.
Else, for example when someone presents inconsistent gender markers (e.g. grown out beard and skirt), either ask or go with something gender neutral like singular they.
I'm honestly a bit annoyed by the sometimes very blanket recommendations to always ask, or even worse always ask people who appear queer.
On top of that: Asking forces closeted people to misgender themselves which is sooo much worse than someone assuming wrong!
@Fiona @gendercensus I'm a bit confused by "Else, for example when someone presents inconsistent gender markers (e.g. grown out beard and skirt), either ask or go with something gender neutral like singular they." - isn't that basically just saying ask people who appear queer?
@Averixus @gendercensus There is queer trying to pass (and possibly failing) and queer trying to not pass. You should guess for the former and ask (or use neutral) for the latter
@gendercensus @Averixus It isn’t so much about someone not trying to pass, but someone trying to not pass.
The former can simply be sloppiness and laziness and the later is much more deliberate.
@Fiona @gendercensus Do you think that it's possible to reliably tell whether a stranger is not trying to pass or trying not to pass? Can you tell whether a stranger has real bed-hair or has carefully styled it to look effortless?
@Averixus @gendercensus Nothing is ever reliable in this space. At the end you will always have cases where guessing is necessary and there is no good way around it.