Another intense workout another reduced migraine.
My verapamil ran out two weeks ago and it is clear it was doing practically nothing.
I could get used to this.
Metaphor is really interesting. For instance I notice that people using effective metaphors in language don't call attention to the metaphor as much as they allow the metaphor to tell a story.
Some, on the other hand, call out the metaphor. They rely on the listener to understand the entire meaning of the metaphor before being able to be told the story.
I need to read more Lakoff, but the idea of embodied metaphor creating meaning in our brains resonates strongly with me.
Here's one: I was told that to stand up straight with your core should be held as if "someone is about to punch you in the stomach".
I don't have this metaphor. It has never happened. I have never been in this scenario, I would have to rely on what I see in movies or something.
I actually don't have a good replacement metaphor. But that one stinks.
There are some choice metaphors in muscle control for musicians. Some of which led me astray, like "angel of victory" pose to sing opera, or the "invisible string pulling up on the bottom of your sternum" posture for singing.
Connecting more mindfully with my body is erasing these "false metaphors" and I think that's something I have treated like a mask. The mask of metaphor, I guess, very closely related to the mask of intellectualism.
She told me, this is how you cope with the BDD, you're doing it. Paying attention to how the parts of your body feel, not appear. Connecting with these muscles as you develop them, and appreciate them and the way they function as you.
My new assignment is to show gratitude for the function of my body, not the appearance.
That sounds like a very embodied thing that I can do. 4/4
My body feels happier. Clothes fit me and I don't feel like I'm constantly not fitting in my clothes. I seem to be able to connect to things in my physical body so much better.
I told her that I have for so long felt like my body was just this big clumsy brawny mech that I am merely piloting as a scrawny nerd buried inside it.
But that's not what it is. It's me! It's all me. And I'm all of it. 3/4
The connection to OCD dialed it in for me, and I tried to talk through the constant confusion I have with *this* part of my neurodivergent brain and the *C-PTSD* part, and that I feel like I have gained all these great tools to navigate C-PTSD but have learned *nothing* about how to manage OCD and BDD.
The HIIT strength exercises are bringing this out. They're providing migraine relief by burning cortisol and giving me more testosterone to work with. 2/4
~~ Movement is Medicine ~~
Heard that for the first time today in therapy. Last time she asked me to look up Body Dysmorphia, or "Body Dysmorphic Disorder" (BDD) because of something I told her I do a lot.
So I did that, and discovered that it describes my suite of behaviors about my body extremely well. Stuff that I've done for as long as I can remember. 1/4
This year I decided to embark on a somatic movement teacher training course with the fabulous Lisa Petersen. I've been sprinkling nuggets of the wisdom I've found in this work into my facilitation and personal practice for a while now and wanted to dig a bit deeper. It's challenged me in so many ways! Currently trying to get my written assignments wrapped up before the mayhem of September commences. #somatic #somaticmovement #movement #movementismedicine #musicandmovement #yoga
@cliffwade hurray! I love the gym and love movement… #movementismedicine but I see a lot of ppl the first weeks in January looking wildly uncomfortable. You all look fabulous to me!